To wear or not to wear, that is the Mother of the Bride question

The question has been popped, champagne opened, engagement ring bought, date set, venue booked. The bride has her dream dress in her sights and now it’s your turn.

The search for the perfect outfit for the Mother of the Bride / Groom can follow a similarly tricky path to the bride, possibly more so. Whilst it’s not your day as such, as a major protagonist you want to reflect your personality, sophistication and image, whilst maintaining an air of subtly to complement your daughter / son on their big day.

For many it’s the first time you’ll have been “on show” for a few years and the prospect of official photographs can fill even the most confident with dread.

Of course, there are a raft of “specialist” designers producing elaborate designs in a hue of shiny pastel shades, aimed at the mothers of the bride / groom (MOBs and MOGs). Interestingly the fact that many of them are modelled by an impossibly young, tall and slim “mother” figure adds much mirth and considerable exasperation (well that's the general consensus of customers who visit my studio). The designs are perfect for some women, as they feel that’s what they “should” and indeed want to wear. They feel that those designs will make them feel special. However, they're not for everyone. You’re reading this, so perhaps they’re not for you either.

It goes without saying you want to be individual, to stand out from the crowd as befits your status, without taking centre stage. There are posh frocks aplenty on the high street / internet but you don’t want to run the risk of rocking up in the same outfit as one of the guests. Many a MOB / MOG has confessed she’d be mortified is she turned up in the same dress as one of her offspring’s young friends.

You might not have the figure you had 20 years ago (who has?). Let’s be honest, life and the dreadful M word have got in the way. News flash, chances are the MOB / MOG has had a child (often several), and we all know children ruin the figure (and the bank balance but that’s a different blog!). I say that because it's not always acknowledged by designers and advertisers. However lumpy and bumpy you are now, you still want an outfit that flatters your shape and style. Chances are your body shape has morphed over the last few years and styles which were once your “go to” may no longer suit. This might mean nothing over the knee (see the plethora of vampy MOB / MOG images on sites which will remain nameless), it certainly will involve sleeves and probably not too plunging.

Whether you like it not, you’ll be on show for some part of the day so you need to be comfortable. If you haven’t worn a dress for years, why do so now? Because it’s the “done” thing? Who says you have to wear a dress and bolero jacket or a floaty little number?? Exactly! Unless it’s a society wedding with an Ascot Royal Enclosure dress code, chances are it will be more relaxed. I’ve made trouser and coat suits for women who don’t feel right in a dress but want something smart which gives confidence. Women want to feel like themselves because feeling like yourself, gives confidence, which is empowering.

Which leads me to my final point, by the time we're finished you'll feel so amazing in your outfit you’ll want to wear it again. Honestly, who can afford to spend hundreds of pounds, and several appointments for fittings, on an outfit they’ll never wear again?

More importantly, in these planet conscious times, who wants to?

My initial question at a consultation isn't really a question - but a statement. Obviously you'll want to wear it again.

Overwhelmingly, the answer is Yes.

These are the outfits that are a pleasure to design and produce, they’re the outfits that will be lovingly worn, they’ll become a smart wardrobe staple, to be worn time and time again.